Wednesday, January 14, 2009

1/14/09

what has gotten into me.. Just for doing what I did today, I deserve a big kick in the balls, a slap to the face, and spit flying toward me. I feel like the biggest jerk of all time.. I feel like I've just committed a crime.. I feel like i've just killed a baby and i just laughed about it.. I don't know what got into me. These things NEVER HAPPEN. These things SHOULDN'T HAPPEN. But as of what happened today? It happened.. and I'm the one responsible for it. I don't know if i'm selfish? Or if i'm greedy? or if I need a lifetime of anger management and mental health.. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT?! I don't know.. I think I DO have mental issues, and I think I DO need a liftime of anger management. I'VE JUST HURT MY GIRLFRIEND FOR NO PARENT REASON. For what? Hurting my girlfriend over a damn hair extension??! I've got to be mad at THAT?! I don't know if she can actually say, "It's okay, I forgive you." Why would she forgive me for what I've just done to her over some little thing. You can't point a gun at your grandmother and shoot her, and after that say it was accident, or say sorry. NO! THEN WHY THE FUCK DID I JUST PUSH AND KICK MY GIRLFRIEND?