Christopher Niebres

Bitchin

shit, again with the bitchin. Or I don't even though what it was, but I'll just accept it as yes I was bitchin. It'll be my fault. At lunch today was dumb. I ALWAYS have to start shit and THEN I would try to explain myself but it doesn't quite go with the flow with the conversation or argument.. IDK, I just make arguments, start problems, and make all this shit worse. Maybe I should just put a muthafuckin muzzle on my mouth so I won't have to open my mouth. Maybe it'll be better off that way, so I don't have to piss anyone off anymore. But yea, shit went wrong at lunch today. It started off small, THEN it gradually became worse because I continued to fuck around like that. I was just messin around? well, I get people pissed the fuck off when I try to mess with them. It doesn't come out right. Either when I'm messing around like that, and it turns out BAD? Or they just end up getting fed up with me and just hate me for annoying them to the limit.

So, after this shit happened. I was feelin REALLY bad.. I was feelin real bad at the fact that I continued to act up like that, and that I broke a promise. But who the fuck cares what I say? I say sorry; they don't give a fuck. I try to make it up; but it ends up happening all over again.And saying sorrys to patch up that wound is not gonna work. It's not acceptable. You've lost. I can feel that there's a gap in between us. And it continues to separate the both of us little by little, with everything that I have to say. And every time I do something wrong or stupid. All of the stupidity and selfishness and always bitchin at her is being filled into the gap separating me from her. I'm slowly losing her. And once I do? I can't be mad because I've lost her. I can't blame anyone BUT MYSELF. So one of these days, when it finally becomes too much and she can't take it anymore. She'll end it. So.. I better not cry at become all emotional when the time comes. Because, I've done this to myself..